Thank you thank you thank you!
The lead up to our session was full of tension for me. We agreed on punishment focus this time, and it’s one of my weaker areas that I really want to work on. I can’t take a lot of pain (something we discovered in our first session together), but I really want to learn, as I love the catharsis and feeling that the pain brings afterward. I also wanted to experience more of your sadistic side on a deeper level. A month before our sessions I always cut out sugar and most red meats, as well as do meditation in order to make the most of my head space. I found that this also made me ultra sensitive to your energies as well.
I was terrified and so so excited to be entering the dungeon space. My fear was actually a bit distracting because I was so high strung, analytical, and on edge that it was difficult to relax and be guided. I had tears in my eyes the whole time, even though I knew I was safe with you and you always have my best interests at heart.
When it came time for the punishment, I was overwhelmed with emotion. Each implement felt important in some way to my training, you had thought it all out so perfectly. I never had to use my safe word or even “yellow”, because you knew when I was feeling too much or it got too painful or overwhelming. I appreciated your calmness and reassurance during the intense times, and I felt we were able to push through my fear.
I don’t think I’ve ever screamed so loud in my whole life. As I was crying, it was such a beautiful feeling to release some of the emotions that I knew I had been carrying for a long time. It was so perfect.
There was a point where you were flogging the front of my body where I felt particularly vulnerable. I almost panicked, especially when you hit me with the cane, and I had the thought I had to stop everything. You knew this, you felt it. You stopped and hugged me, reassured me, and turned me over. The fact that you let me know that I wasn’t a failure, that you were proud of me, and that I was going further than I ever had was such a boost for me.
When I turned over on my back again, I began to really really feel like I could handle everything. You flogged me over and over, told me to transmute the pain, turn it into something, and I did. I thought about all of the areas in my life I needed to work on, to change, to improve, and brought the energy to those things. I had to plug my ears because the flogger was so loud, and I truly truly felt in a zen state. I was taking the pain you were gifting me and making it something truly important with it.
The pain wasn’t all about me though. I really loved giving you my body to inflict pain upon. You are an amazing man, and to be able to do something in return like that for you was thrilling and so special.
After we were done the punishment, having the blanket on me felt so perfect. I felt so clear, so high, and in awe of you. I had tears in my eyes again, but this time it was from gratitude and pride in myself that I didn’t quit, that I worked through what I needed to and came out the other side a different and better person.
On my way home that night, I felt absolutely invincible. Everything was bright, sparkly, and the way it should be. My body felt like rainbows, and I had such clarity on the things I’ve been working through in my personal life.
Thank you so much for an amazing session. I truly thought it was the best one we’ve ever had. Different, surely, but the way I felt that night and the next day, and how it resonates with me even now is reflective of how you worked me over.
Sadly, my bruises are healing, yellow and purple kisses instead of red welts, but I treasure them and I will for as long as I can.
Thank you thank you thank you.
Master Tom’s sweet sub